Issue 17 and Volume 84.

FALSE ALARMS NO WONDER An old veteran smoke-eater, also a great admirer of John Barleycorn, was ordered to bed after working at a nasty cellar fire. The doctor ordered his patient to take whiskey but impressed on him that unless he took it with hot water, it would do him more harm than good. “How am 1 to get the hot water?” asked the patient. “My wife is against my drinking, and if she knows its for whiskey she won’t let me have the hot water.” “Oh, just tell her you want it for shaving,” replied the quick-thinking doctor. When he called next day and asked the wife about the patient, she answered: “I’m worried, doctor. I’m afraid he’s gone mad because he wants to shave every ten minutes.” In a speakeasy the customer’s always right and he’s usually willing to prove it. WASTED EFFORT One of the boys had…

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