Issue 3 and Volume 97.

FALSE ALARMS Confused Lawrence Cramer, youthful, unimpressive-looking governor of the Virgin Islands, called upon the Secretary of the Interior. He gave his name to a doorkeeper merely as “Cramer,” and sat down to wait. Thirty minutes passed, then 45. The young governor concluded that he had not made his name and position clear. So he approached the doorkeeper and explained that he was governor of the Virgin Islands. Flustered, the man picked up the telephone. “Mr. Secretary,” he said, “there’s a virgin here from Governor’s Island.” If Might Work The fire truck on a rural run came to a sudden standstill on a country road. The driver descended, diagnosed the trouble and then applied at a neighboring cottage for assistance. “Pardon me,” he said to the old woman who answered his knock, “do you by chance possess any lubricating oil?” The old woman shook her head. “Any oil will do,”…

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