Issue 11 and Volume 104.

FALSE ALARMS Retort A wolf, sitting in a fashionable restaurant, snapped to attention when an attractive young lady passed by. He tried a standard pass: “Excuse me, but surely you’re not dining alone?” and got nothing in return but a frigid glance. His vanity stung, he remarked sarcastically, “I’m sorry, I thought you were my mother.” “I couldn’t be,” came the icy retort, “I’m married.” Displaying her wedding gifts, the bride came to one from the groom’s Army buddy. “I just adore these personalized gifts,” she said. “We received towels and washcloths with HIS and HERS on them, but,” she blushed, “this is even more personal.” And she held up an olive-drab blanket with the letters US stamped in the middle. When Mrs. O’Kantor sued for a divorce from her husband, the judge reminded her that she had married him for life. “I know, judge,” she said, “but I found…

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