False Alarms

Issue 3 and Volume 117.

False Alarms DEPARTMENTS A young lady sat in her stalled auto awaiting help when two young men walked up and volunteered their aid. “I’m out of gas,” she explained. “Could you push me to a gas station?” They readily put their muscles to the rear of the car and rolled it several blocks. After a while, one fellow looked up, exhausted to see that they had just passed a filling station. “How come you didn’t turn in at that one?” he called. “I never go to that station,” the girl shouted back. “They don’t give trading stamps.” “My husband gave me this fur coat for my 30th birthday.” “You don’t say! It certainly has worn well, hasn’t it?” “Pad,” said the bright young man. I’m thinking of getting married. How much money should I need?” “More,” was the curt reply. Stranger in town: “Did you see a pedestrian go by…

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