False Alarms

Issue 10 and Volume 117.

False Alarms DEPARTMENTS Hardrock’s wife: “Where did you and daddy go?” Six-year-old son: “We stopped at a place and I had a coke. Daddy had a glass of ice water with an olive in it.” Seeing a car rolling down the street without a driver, a man dashed from the sidewalk, climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed on the brakes. A second man appeared from behind the car, puffing and yelling: “Get out, fathead! I’m pushing my car to a gas station and you’re the third quick-thinker I’ve met in the last two blocks.” Texaco Safety Digest Gallant lad: “What would you do if I kissed you on the forehead?” Practical miss: “I’d call you down, of course.” Practical Procedure A woman with a three-year-old son always takes his belt off when she takes him shopping with her at the supermarket. She explains: “It keeps his hands busy holding…

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