False Alarms

Issue 3 and Volume 118.

False Alarms “She has a radio-quiz figure.” “What do you mean?” “You wonder whether it’s ‘True or Falsies!’” “Well, what excuse have you got for coming home at this hour of the night?” “Well, my dear, I was playing golf with some friends and . . .” “What? At 2 a.m.?” “Sure, we were using night clubs.” Father (to son): “I’m sick and tired of arguing with you over borrowing the car. The next time I want it, I’m just going to take it!” Help Wanted “Conductor, will you help me off the train?” “Sure, but why?” “You see, I’m stout, and have to get off the train backwards. The porter thinks I’m trying to get on and he gives me a shove on again. I am five stations past my destination now!” Texaco Safety Digest “Why are you so down in the mouth?” “We just sold all the baby…

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