By Diane Feldman
Sure, I like wings!
A firefighter was taking his small daughter on an airplane to Disney World for the first time. The flight attendant came around to all the children before the flight and asked them if they would like wings. The firefighter’s daughter was getting hungry, so she said, “Sure,” thinking they were chicken wings. She was quite surprised when the flight attendant came back and stuck pilot wings on the little girl’s shirt!
Quote of the week
From Rick Fritz, retired battalion chief of training, High Point (NC) Fire Department, commenting on fire departments having to do too much with too little: “The term for the new fire service should be the ‘Hellman’s Department’ because we are spread so thin.”
Cheaper isn’t always better
An urban city in New Jersey held a memorial service to remember the victims of the World Trade Center disaster. The organizers were told to purchase doves to be released at the conclusion of the service. Trying to save a little money, they went to a live poultry store and bought pigeons instead. When it came time to release the birds, the organizer opened the cages, and nothing happened. The pigeons just sat there. One organizer stuck his hand in the cages and started “flinging” the pigeons out. Some flew and promptly fell into the Hudson River; some others got run over by nearby trains. Lesson learned: Doves and pigeons are not interchangeable!
A small, rural fire department responded to a fire call at a local farm. The farmer was outside the structure, yelling and waving at the approaching fire truck: “Save my prize horses. Save my livestock!” The fire apparatus pulled up to where the farmer stood and kept right on going, driving the apparatus right into the fire! How heroic! The farmer thought, as the members jumped out and extinguished the flames.
The farmer was so grateful that he wrote the volunteer department a check for $1,000. “What are you going to do with the money?” He asked the members. “Buy beer? Have a party?”
“No,” one of the members replied. “The first thing we’re gonna to do is get the brakes fixed on that fire truck!”
Marilyn Monroe she’s not!
The homeowner was quite irate when the Florida firefighters pulled up to her house fire.
“What took you so long to get here? I’m going to sue you AND the maker of the oven (which was involved in the fire),” she yelled at them.
The members put out the fire and set up a positive-pressure ventilation (PPV) fan in the doorway to clear the house of smoke. They told the woman repeatedly to step away from the fan after they turned it on, but she was so angry at them she didn’t listen.
She was standing so close that the members said she looked like Marilyn Monroe standing over the sewer grate, with her dress blowing up. Finally, she got so close to the fan that it sucked in her dress, pulling it off her body entirely. She was left standing in her “bloomers.”
Photo found on Wikimedia Commons courtesy of Gregory F. Maxwell.
Diane Feldman, a 21-year veteran of PennWell Corp., is executive editor of Fire Engineering and conference director of FDIC. She has a B.A. in English communications. She has been a yenta (look it up) for most of her life. If you have a story for the Yenta, e-mail email@example.com.